Friday With Ballpens

July Note: Keeping the dream alive I am keeping my hope with this post. Imagining is some sort of a balm in Gilead.

I don’t know the exact time when my fascination with science, health science in particular, started. As far as anecdotes inform us, some got to specialize on arachnids out of childhood spoiled time gathering spiders at sundowns. Others on magic after a one-time stroll at a carnival. Some on varnishing intricately designed wooden doors and window sills partly due to the outgrown brain conditioning of lacquer thinner (hazardous to health actually) from one’s neighborhood furniture shop, and partly to the array of glossy doors at a posh subdivision – a source of personal accomplishment. I’m sure you also are a stickler to your own source of fascination. But mine is really along personal health that’s closely tied up with our biological givens and anything that still evolves, or diminishes as we grow old, in our body.

It must have started with those white coats that doctors wear, that according to sociologists are not only a symbol of desire to purify whatever biological taint there is, but more suggestively, of power. You see one wearing a white coat with a name stitched in longhand even in malls and the mind reflexively dictates of an ambulating power around, even if the emotional reaction could vary individually depending on personal experience with those power holders. The white coat is power over biological malady what the clerical soutane is over spiritual malaise.

My experience was a mixture of awe and provocation. I see those array of blue and red and black pens on the chest pocket of their coat and a feeling of amazement would envelop me – “Wow! So many ballpens!” I knew Kilometrico if I see one and a Uni if it’s pinned on. But my childhood bafflement stemmed from the practical question of usage and numbers – why so many? The question apparently was flavored with a grade school bias – seldom did I report to school with even a pair of pens. It was either a lone, blue, non-transparent, plastic overall Kilometrico, a see-through Uni, or a white-bodied, big ball-pointed Bic whose ink one can never predict when to run out.

And the provocation? Well, my mother had a recurring ulcer and any hospital time, she could curl up with a monstrous pain that had me running to the nurse’s station. Ulcer patients and their caregivers know how the pain could become a routine episode it becomes less catchy of the staff’s attention. Figure a child almost freaking out to extend help for his mother and what to that child was a seemingly sluggish response from the staff but from a medical point of view is a calm response protocol. The child could only wonder, a little panicky, on top of those ballpens and dangling stethoscopes and leisurely confident cadence on the hospital hallways. “I’ll get to the business of healing someday,” promised the child to himself, believing that ballpens are still important because according to Bluep in his post, writing skill is a career edge.


Photo credit: kimatangan

This post is supposed to be on CD4+ T cells and cancer. but sometimes, free writing dictates its own rhythm.


24 thoughts on “Friday With Ballpens

  1. This is definitely my most favorite post in this blog. With all the hurry-ness of blog hopping and even hurrier attitude in writing, this post reminds me why I started blogging in the first place, for the love of writing. I guess, I need to give more thought to what I write. I can feel the gushing fountain of ideas take life after a few days of barren mental block. This place is indeed an Oasis. thanks.

  2. Hi Mahalia, as usual thanks for the generous comment. I can resonate with both your impasse and inspiration to write. Sometimes, i feel we are simply carriers of ideas bigger than ourselves regardless of how we claim they are loaded with self-identity. As a desertfisher, I’m glad to read the word “barren.”

  3. we are indeed carriers and recyclers of ideas, as the old saying goes, there is no original idea only ideas that passed our spectrum of experience and craftily handed down to those that openly receive.

  4. Pingback: What’s Your Star? « DesertFishing

  5. Mahalia the author of

    This place is indeed an Oasis. thanks.

    Second de motion!

    Si DFish na!
    amigo ko na
    influential blog ko na sya!
    Iboto si DFish!
    Apil na ang akong
    9 other candidates!

    Kampanya de Seguros Inc.
    Lapnag Influential blog 2009
    Cyber Space, 10101010101

  6. Ang link ni bluep morag mao ni ang akong nakita sa pagkakaron.

    This page cannot be found
    Would you like to try the search?
    Search for
    Try these interesting stories

    Fatal error: Call to undefined function get_the_image() in /home4/bluepanj/public_html/bluepanjeet/wp-content/themes/guzel-pro/404.php on line 24

  7. as usual nosebleed na pud na entry hehe. naistoryahan ka namo ni Bro Utoy ug Melskiens nagkita mi last Wed ata to sa makati. Na isa jud ka sa mga pinakanindot na writers/bloggers ug nosebleed sa inglesan hehehe

  8. writing started out as a way for me to ease boredom, never in my dreams that it could reach out to as many people as i could ever imagined!
    … i always say that i would hope to leave an imprint in the hearts and minds of people i meet….as a legacy
    ….writing did offer that venue…
    ….in the beginning , i was quite unsure of venturing into the blogosphere…
    …now i know…i was heard.

  9. it really fascinates me how you pour mind in writing and it seems like logic spontaneously flows out of you . well, a common cliche maybe right in some point- there are people who are molded (some are actually created) to become ink-blotters whose passions do not stop in mere collecting ballpens but as well grip them with prospects of writing. you are one of that brother and im glad you do not take blogging as mere electronic pad to chop your brain piece by piece but a social network to experience interaction of ideas and imparting inspiration to others. And its not just that, you also make use of your pen – metaphorically speaking- to bring healing and realization to others just like what you did to Mahalia who realized the essence of writing…and to me as well, really. 🙂

    Pens are gift; so is your blog to us. lovely post brother- doctor. my prayers of recovery for your Mom. 🙂

  10. darbs – yes, mano-mano or automated over bahalina, voting is your choice. Ang importante – mahubog ta ug basa sa mga gallon-gallon nga mga blogs sa Barrio Pilipinas hahaha…

  11. Miel – ikaw pud gani, maningles pud. Naa pa gyud grammar lessons hahaha. I read your entry of moving to an old familiar place. Hope you will find again your happy way in a polluted city hehehe. Regards kay Utoy ug Mielskin – busy na sa mga balaanong buhat ang atong mga igsoon…

  12. Pads Felmar – mao gyud. One of my pet peeves is having a pen na wala nay ink and then about to write something. In a way, i get compulsive in this manner but it is still within a manageable threshold haha…

  13. Totomel – lovely compliment Igsoon! Thank you for this generous comment. And the prayer for my mother.
    I’ve never been a writer honestly. Even in our small high school,we were deprived of the opportunity to discover whoever has the leaning for writing and to express our students’ sentiments through a school paper. We were that small and largely lacking in imagination of making the most of whatever resources available then. Now, I’m glad blogging is providing the highway for some writing adventures. We write for different reasons – some more activity-driven, others relationally-driven. I try to stay and hope to stay within my conviction and thinking parameter which the larger slice of the pizza is symbolic and interior-driven. At times, entries are not as palatable as a shrimp-sprinkled Yellow Cab whole because it demands some knife of silence cutting through the clogged ditches of a self that needs introspection, of a self caught in the midst of the buzzing deliveries of posts. But as TS Eliot said: “For us, there is only the trying; the rest is not our business.” Blessings to you Igsoon…

  14. Blu – your reading community is ballooning, a strong statement that your messages and the mystique that often veil them, often tickle our imagination and curiosity as to who is behind those prose and poems. Again, let me compliment you here in my blog that you are consistently superb in your presentation, imagination, depth, research and linguistic creativity in all your posts. I like to gobble more haha…

  15. Brother, I am just a little confused with your Friday with Ballpens when the date seems to teleport back from a yesteryear. check the date of your post: i see here october 24, 2008 instead of july 3, 2009. is this a repost? 🙂

  16. Brother, I am just a little confused with your Friday with Ballpens when the date seems to teleport back from a yesteryear. check the date of your post: i see here october 24, 2008 instead of july 3, 2009. is this a repost?

    Gapasabot lamang kini nga ang blog entry is immortal…

    relevant kagahapon…
    relevant karon…
    relevant hangtud na sa ugma damlag…
    Puedi i-recycle baaaa!

    Sama sa awit nga akong nahibaloan…
    Matud Nila
    Matud Mo
    ug uban pang immortal nga mga kalantahon.

  17. Pareng Darbs – Ang Mutya Ka Baleleng, mora’g dili siguro classic no kay wala man sa imong lista o nahisakop lang sa imong uban pa? Lamdagi ko pag-usab…

  18. Salamat sa pagpahinumdum sa maong awit. Belong pud bitaw sya sa classic si Baleleng ang mutya sa Baybayon. Ah! Baleleng… kabalo ko nga mora may recording si Max Surban sa maong awit.

    Apan tungod sa kayaga-yagaon sa kulturanhong Pilipinhon, nia ang misulod sa utok kabahin sa maong awit. Nia ang Baleleng version nga matawag the Classic of all the classics, the Baleleng Jaga-jaga

    Kung ikaw Baleleng kalibangon
    Dagan lang Baleleng sa baybayon
    Kung ikaw Baleleng walay ilo
    I-id-id Baleleng sa dakong bato

    Ang bato Baleleng nga may sisi
    Lubot mo Baleleng nagangisi
    Tambalan Baleleng ug microchrome
    Lubot mo Baleleng nagalagom

    Disclaimer: I did not start the fire.

  19. Yes indeed, writing is so powerful. It can build you and destroy you or others as well. It can be an instrument of love and hatred…writing is the outlet of our inner self.

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