Yes, I did my retreat for 7 days. Not one, single click on my blog although I got to read comments from my gmail as a sign of respect and silent connection with my readers/commenters. In this age of networks, a stand-alone blogger is self-contradicting. Even die-hard evolution biologists (like Elizabeth Sahtouri) who are the most rabid of atheists admit that co-operation from the cellular level up is how the universe operates.
Why an online absence? It’s a simple word called detachment from what I can be passionate about – meditative writing. Detachment is a Biblical thing, too. And monks through the centuries have passed it on as a wellspring of wisdom. Hear this from a monk who was a promising French General but decided to enter the monastery and served their “Muslim enemies” in Algeria:
“A monk must be a contrarian, for it is in the insignificance of his life that he leaves his signature.”
The world teaches us to find our passion. True enough. But human passion without God and a sense of detachment could be a tricky thing. It’s like Peter, looking for Jesus who retreated early in the morning after a successful healing crusade the night before:
“Gosh, where were you. People are asking us. They need us. Now na.”
Jesus could read his disciples’ ego and were taking God’s work personally:
“Let’s get on the Baliwag Bus and move on to Vigan. There’s so much ego-blowing on here.”
“Naman, oh,” Peter pontificated.
Talk of Jesus being a contrarian against the tricky trip of the ego, more so if it is talented and powerful enough to change lives.
In my faith-journey, I have to equally learn that Heaven is not really the goal. It is those simple, seemingly insignificant growth that takes place in silence where the Sacred speaks.
Part 2 of this would be the bloody, shitty part of the retreat. Thanks for those who read my retreat guideline and the feedback. Nortehanon, Coolwaterworks, Walongbote, Honey, Revsiopao, Emilayskie, Bluep – thank you for the sweet notes.
Photo credit: Hamed Saber